Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me?

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As you age, birthdays ending in “5” or “0” are considered milestones. Of course, most of us likely over-celebrated 18 or 21 when becoming legal drinking age. Many women continue to celebrate 29 long into their 40’s. Milestone celebrations are expected for 30, 40 and 50. When your 60th rolls around, others want to celebrate more than you do.

Your friends and family have one of two reactions when they learn you are turning 60. Either they are surprised you got there so quickly or they are only happy it’s not them. Naturally, those of us that are already 60 are ecstatic to welcome more members into our club.

Many feel that after you turn 60, the next milestone is the magical retirement age of 65. That was true for our parents, but Baby Boomers know better. Our next milestone is 64, thanks to The Beatles.

My generation has been singing along to “When I’m 64” since we were in our teens or early 20s. It’s one of the catchier tunes Paul McCartney ever wrote. Like the character in the song, McCartney didn’t know much about being 64 when it was released on the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album in 1967. As a matter of fact, it was one of the first songs he had ever written when he was just 16. Although his father turned 64 the year before the song was released, McCartney wouldn’t turn 64 until almost 40 years later, in 2006.

It’s a song about young lovers pondering their future together. At such a young age, they wondered what their lives would be like many years from now.

Now it’s my turn to find out. I’m turning 64 on Feb. 24.

“When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a Valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I’d been out till quarter to three, would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?”

With the children grown and, for the most part, on their own, people our age sometimes wonder if they still have a purpose in life. The lyrics in the song are certainly legitimate questions for us now.
I’ve been married to my lovely wife for almost 40 years. She has put up with many things during that time, including most of the things mentioned in the song. Now that I’ve reached that plateau, where do I fit into her plans?

“I could be handy, mending a fuse, when your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside; Sunday mornings, go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds, Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64?”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to many more happy years together. This is our time now to enjoy each other’s company. There’s a great line from The Honeymooners episode “Young at Heart.” The Kramdens and Nortons attempt to recapture their youth by roller skating and dancing, only to find it was more difficult to do than they originally anticipated. At the end of the episode, Ralph reminds them about how it’s not so bad growing old, as long as they have good memories of when they were young.

That’s when Alice turns to Ralph and says, “I don’t even mind growing old, as long as you and I grow old together…”

I’ve been more than lucky to share my life with a woman that loves and cares for me. We’ve raised two great kids and still look forward to the future, whatever that may hold.

Will she still need me? Will she still feed me?

I guess we’ll find out on Feb. 24, when I finally turn 64.

5 thoughts on “Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me?

  1. Anitra Carr Wallin says:

    Dear Paul, Thank you for a wonderful feel good post. While this album was born the same year as me, (Berner Class of 85) I just celebrated a birthday last week & find myself enjoying the simple pleasures of the days with my wonderful husband more than anything else as the years roll on. This song always makes me laugh…I think I may have to learn to play it! Happy birthday to you! We live in CA but I’ll seek out your column now that I’ve found you here. The world needs more of this. Wishing you all the best! Cheers!

    1. Paul DiSclafani says:

      Thanks so much for the kind words. Go to the subscribe page and add your email, if you’d like. I send out a monthly newsletter that includes my most recent columns and other stuff. I’m putting a book together of my favorite columns over the years that will be available in the Spring!
      Paul d

  2. Susan says:

    Love this! I have some time before 64, but this was a reminder that it’s just a new phase & much to be enjoyed! God Bless & enjoy 64 & beyond!

  3. Claire says:

    Happy 64th Birthday!
    For many years, as my beloved husband played this song on our the piano, I would always sing it to him. Yes, that was years before we ever turned close to age 64! Now, alone, at the age of 77, l treasure memories of our many musical times together.
    May God Bless You Always,

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